Today, I finally get to know that the real answer of he crashing me...really hurt after hear that...
He mention that "He not more luv me"...adi been cheating himself for long time that mention he luv me but actually it is not...hurt...although hurt...but...I choose to forgive him....as...I still believe that he luv me...It just he get bore...and also of his family...his family couldn't accept me...he mention that his family had put fully trust on him...and he choose to be with his family rather than me....
I understand....I understand your situation....remember that I ask u if I want u to choose that both myself and your mum had jump into a sea...and...who will u rescue 1st?...u couldn't answer...I know adi...
For me...I choose to save my mum also...but after that...I'll be jump it over into the sea and die with u together....
As now only i feel that I couldn't leave without u....and I rather die for u....
I dunno u mention to me that u x luv me anymore....is it real...but I hope it is not...as I dun think so u r such person...
I luv u my dear....this is really come from my true heart...hope that u happy forever...even without me on your life...
I'll keep on post my blog....keep post until I could forget u...or if possible...couple back with you...
Then after I had forget u...or I had re-couple back with u...I will post it to you....for u to see how much is my miss to you...how much is my luv to you...
As u r special for me...A guy that I could put my luv and heart into...
I'm not looking for a relationship that playful...If u r not serious...pls dun come back to me...
As...a relationship i want....is a relationship that we could be together forever....Luv u forever....
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
A day that without him-Day 5 29/08/2010
I had found my ring...my valueble ring...I thought gonna lost it...luckily I found it...orelse I'll unconfortable....as the ring declare of I'm his wife...although I'm x...although I'm x qualify...
Today I saw he email me...2 emails total...latest was on 27/08, today only I realise...
Although after all, I had email all my feeling to him...he still had that decision....I would no choice but to respect of his decision....although I hope I could decide of choosing the bad decision...but... I would rather he happy....let me suffer everything...as long as he happy...
Today...i had go to the place that we recent hang out....capture some photos....capture our memories also....as I want it to be forever....forever that I can remember of him....
Goodbye my hubby....(Please let me call u for the last time...)...pls....
heart hurt....goodbye my luv....my hubby...goodbye forever....
Today I saw he email me...2 emails total...latest was on 27/08, today only I realise...
Although after all, I had email all my feeling to him...he still had that decision....I would no choice but to respect of his decision....although I hope I could decide of choosing the bad decision...but... I would rather he happy....let me suffer everything...as long as he happy...
Today...i had go to the place that we recent hang out....capture some photos....capture our memories also....as I want it to be forever....forever that I can remember of him....
Goodbye my hubby....(Please let me call u for the last time...)...pls....
heart hurt....goodbye my luv....my hubby...goodbye forever....
Saturday, August 28, 2010
A day that without him Day 4 28/08/10
Thought that today might be feel better....but I feel more worst....I've cry hard....very hard in office....I missing the ring....It's been 2 years with me but today....It's been missing....the ring that with engraving "Forever Love".....why?? why when u gone....even the ring gone missing?? feel unconfortable!!!...without the ring that put on my finger...on the finger declare of married...
Still remember u put it on me....now with the scare finger...It's keep me remind to think of u....I've try hard to search...couldn't find....why?...Is it mean that our relationship had no hope anymore??..I doesn't wanna lost u....but u gone....now the ring is gone with u too....
why?? why?? why u gone and even bring the ring together? not even to let me have a thing on missing u?...not even want me to think of I'm some 1 4 u??
I keep type...keep cry....keep cry hard....can't imagine how my life will be without u on past of my life....
When I present u the ring....with "Forever Love"...my heart had assume that u are my life partner....u r the person that I'll gonna married...I'll gonna be forever...
I love u my dear...u had deeply utilize full of my heart...but now u gone....I dunno how to take u from my heart....my heart unwilling to let it go....unwilling to let u gone....
I miss u....miss u every single of moment....Really hope that we will be forever....but u had choose to be alone...u feel it better....I had no choice to refuse...wish u be happy without me....
Heart getting worst....
Still remember u put it on me....now with the scare finger...It's keep me remind to think of u....I've try hard to search...couldn't find....why?...Is it mean that our relationship had no hope anymore??..I doesn't wanna lost u....but u gone....now the ring is gone with u too....
why?? why?? why u gone and even bring the ring together? not even to let me have a thing on missing u?...not even want me to think of I'm some 1 4 u??
I keep type...keep cry....keep cry hard....can't imagine how my life will be without u on past of my life....
When I present u the ring....with "Forever Love"...my heart had assume that u are my life partner....u r the person that I'll gonna married...I'll gonna be forever...
I love u my dear...u had deeply utilize full of my heart...but now u gone....I dunno how to take u from my heart....my heart unwilling to let it go....unwilling to let u gone....
I miss u....miss u every single of moment....Really hope that we will be forever....but u had choose to be alone...u feel it better....I had no choice to refuse...wish u be happy without me....
Heart getting worst....
Friday, August 27, 2010
A day that without him-Day 3 27/08/2010
No connection....totally gone....I've check my fb...he had remove me on his profile.....it's won't gonna be any connection anymore....this is the day 3 that we had crash....my 1st love....unforgetable love...hate this feeling...kill myself better than staying current situation...hurt...heart paining...deep pain...
today, the last message I sent to him...time 9.44pm...goodbye my luv....my soul...for you...I had die...a person that even I had die suddenly and it is nothing for you...a stranger for you...
No worrys...I wont gonna disturb u anymore....as u wanna b alone....u feel better...your choice...
Luv the way u kiss, luv the way u hug, luv the way u care....
Thank you for your luv....sorry for everything....and also sorry for disturbing u...
Really no energy to pretend....energy low...its hard to pretend strong and smile in front of every one but behind cry...need to be a clown...
GOODBYE....GOODBYE MY LOVE...
today, the last message I sent to him...time 9.44pm...goodbye my luv....my soul...for you...I had die...a person that even I had die suddenly and it is nothing for you...a stranger for you...
No worrys...I wont gonna disturb u anymore....as u wanna b alone....u feel better...your choice...
Luv the way u kiss, luv the way u hug, luv the way u care....
Thank you for your luv....sorry for everything....and also sorry for disturbing u...
Really no energy to pretend....energy low...its hard to pretend strong and smile in front of every one but behind cry...need to be a clown...
GOODBYE....GOODBYE MY LOVE...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A day that without him-Day 2 26/08/2010
He's gone...doesn't even wish to have a single relationship with me....pass me my card in hurry...face not even look at me....do u noe that when u gone, the pieces of my heart are missing u.....
I'm like a shell without soal...come to work, work more...work late just to pass the time...doesn't want a single second to make to think of u....as think of u...my eyes may couldn't control to drop my tears....
I cry....cry many in a day...pretend nothing with colleagues....but when I'm alone....tears falls again....
Rather be at the office....as I could cry hard under the table....no 1 knows....rather then drop my tears every moment....
Doesn't like to be at house....as in house when everyone enjoying....I couldn't have the feeling to enjoy it....when in my house....pretend need to put more harder....as doesn't want they worry on me...they haven't know...
Love is it means everything? but for him are not....as he rather be alone....he feel more better to be alone....some more ask to "feel it"....am I really bad that until he could mention "better to be alone" and declare very fast from "Marriage" to "Single"....
Feel like wanna drunk myself everyday just to make at least a moment not to be so hard of thinking him....as it's pain....tears keep drop....
But who am I to think of him? who am I to still keep loving him? who am i to care him any more?
(Dah hits target ke? tak nampak muka pun...hehe)
- from there, I know and understand adi....pls dun say "Luv u" when it is not come from your full heart....please dun over promise, when you couldn't make it....definately not to mention promise to be with me forever if u couldn't do that....
Thanks....thanks for hurting me...
tears dropping....really need bottles of drinks to drunk myself....
I'm like a shell without soal...come to work, work more...work late just to pass the time...doesn't want a single second to make to think of u....as think of u...my eyes may couldn't control to drop my tears....
I cry....cry many in a day...pretend nothing with colleagues....but when I'm alone....tears falls again....
Rather be at the office....as I could cry hard under the table....no 1 knows....rather then drop my tears every moment....
Doesn't like to be at house....as in house when everyone enjoying....I couldn't have the feeling to enjoy it....when in my house....pretend need to put more harder....as doesn't want they worry on me...they haven't know...
Love is it means everything? but for him are not....as he rather be alone....he feel more better to be alone....some more ask to "feel it"....am I really bad that until he could mention "better to be alone" and declare very fast from "Marriage" to "Single"....
Feel like wanna drunk myself everyday just to make at least a moment not to be so hard of thinking him....as it's pain....tears keep drop....
But who am I to think of him? who am I to still keep loving him? who am i to care him any more?
(Dah hits target ke? tak nampak muka pun...hehe)
- from there, I know and understand adi....pls dun say "Luv u" when it is not come from your full heart....please dun over promise, when you couldn't make it....definately not to mention promise to be with me forever if u couldn't do that....
Thanks....thanks for hurting me...
tears dropping....really need bottles of drinks to drunk myself....
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