He is missing me - 25.11.10

Saw his fb just now, he mention that u had went to a place where meet me for the last time in his life....I guess is the smart hotel he mention....hmmm....really doesn't know how to describe of our relationship...it's both of us loving each other...

but....we just unable to get together....what should we do??

20.11.2010 - your birthday

your birthday eve i was so upset dear...cos i'm not the one that important could celebrate your 21st birthday with you!...

Totally upset...I cry...i been mad...scold people....this is the hardest day for me to pass by....

now is already a quarter after 12am...i guest u r drinking right now....and gonna drink very hard today...not sure your family will gonna celebrate for you or not...but...i wish to celebrate with you...

Remember that we had in Roadhouse?...u mention is the best and ever birthday in your life...I'm happy to listen that...and wish to have wonderful birthday every year that could celebrate with you...

I believe u r waiting for your 21st birthday....a day that u will leave me soon...as u mention u will be work oversea...when the time after 21...

Really hope that now I could drink drink and drink until I able to drunk...and not to think anything in my life....as the heart paining won't be there....

Although drunk but heart and mind are still clear....

There is not much I can do...the only thing that i can do, is to send u a message via facebook...wishing u 21st Happy Birthday,wish u happy always, have a bright future...and success in your life...take care...

This is the only thing that i could do....as...u r not allow me to SMS u....not allow me to Call you....not allow me to meet....

Miss u dear....miss u darling...

I've cry....I've sad....but...who is realising my feeling?...who could actually love me the way that u love me?

Feel silly - 11.11.2010

Seriously I feel i'm so stupid...i'm so silly....how could i in love with you?....so deep even.... uncontrolable thinking of you....really hate myself....hate that i luv u....for you, who am i??? am i a person that u ask me to come...i come...u ask me to go...i go...is that me for you???

I seriously hate myself!!! I hate...hate that i couldn't forget you!!!....what a shit person am i!!!

i WERE HOPE THAT I EVER MEET YOU B4....ORELSE...I WON'T SAD...WON'T CRY....FOR YOU!!!

make my life difficult....I really hate myself!!!....what a shit idiot person am i!!!

How can i put so much trust on you!!! Until so deep my luv with you!!!....and now wanna move out from it!!!...it is impossible!!!.....

Hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a shit fucker am i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an idiot gal am i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shit fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am really a shit fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!god damn me idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hate that i luv you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg...missing him 10.11.10

Omg...work only cure for a while of missing him....after all...when back to home...lonelyness are still there...missing him much...cry....when i need you....but where are you?....hate that i love you...

my things stolen - 05.11.10

my purse and phone get stolen!!!...the most important things is Kumar's photos get stolen...='(... i unable to keep his photos...the long hair photos that he like...such a useless am i...really useless...sorry Kumar...

Sorry....

Happy Deepavali - 03.11.10

Happy Deepavali...hope that i am the 1st 1 to wish u...(Wish u in heart)...

3rd year of Deepavali...is the year that we unable to celebrate together...

anyhow...wish u celebrate happily...

heart paining - 03.11.10

Heart paining....really heart paining....unable to control untill tears fall down....

cry hard...deeply hurt me....never thought that this would be his conversation:

"She is following me, but she never reliase that she could not even touch my shadow"

"A gal who make my life blash from heaven to hell"

"If she feel its decided ny GOD, then y should follow me!...even whatever things happen, but it could not change the past"

Omg....i am a hell gal for him...thanks...thanks for that....really hurt....hurt until speechless...

cry - 01.11.10

When think of u will cry...been cry since yesterday till today...think of you will cry...saw movie also when similiar with both of our senario...will cry....haih...can it stop??...

being like this also no use...u won't come back to me...whats that i waiting for??...

forget it...forget it chloe....u can't just be like that...life still go on...pls...forget it...forget it....pls...pls...pls...pls...pls...pls...pls...pls...pls...pls...

dun miss or expect the love anymore...as if that is for me...it will automatical it's mine...

now that is not...dun force myself to get that...dun...dun...as he is not the man that will care you anymore....as when i fall down...when i sick....but where is he??...forget it....forget it.... forget the love you had put on it..........