Imagine again...only that could make me feel more better....
When I alone...tears fall down again....especially in bathroom...cry...cry...cry...
This is a place that only i could release out my feeling of being real instead of pretending!!
In the bathroom...I had done an immediate reaction things!!!...
Cry while showering...Suddenly my mine appear to kill myself...I straight take the shower form mix with little water and drink!!! 2 cups i drinks!!...bout 50ml i guess i had drink...muntah after that....sore throat very pain...but keep drink....and keep muntah...wanna hurt myself...and all this is suddently message to ask me drink without think in my mine....
After all....sore throat...very pain...while having diner, feel like gastric pain....the pain was until now...still paining...after clear off my mine....feel like next time if wanna kill myself...better not to use drink poison...cos that feeling not good....To kill myself...I guess I will use to cut off my hand kut.....
Pain is only short hard pain...then long little bit pain...I guess I'll choose this to kill myself...If I got the chance to do that....
Cos now is still paining after drink of shower form....disgusting taste and bitter...but still finish it....cos suddently feel like wanna kill myself...that mind set x even having a second to off...my hand adi mix up with the water and drink....
doesn't noe why like that but suddently feel wanna kill myself....mayb cos of muntah make me clear off my mine...My mine of still need to take care of my family....only stop of doing that...
today is the 4th day....4th day that we break...
my ex-admire suddently msging to ask go out for clubbing....eem...shall i go??....shall i go with him??....I still couldn't imagine of leaving him again....but...is it a time for me to forget him??...I doesn't wish to....really doesn't wish that...but what should i do?? shall i go clubbing with him?? Wanna enjoy clubbing...but...not him to bring me....What Kumar promise is to bring me for clubbing!!...but....is that only could dream only??...I only trust on Kumar, that y i ask him to bring me...but now shall i go with him??...do i believe on him??...he will do anything on me??...affraid...but...I think I will accept to go with him....as...wanna crazyly forget everything on sadness situation!!...
Wanna release out!!!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Dream Dream Dream 28/09/10
Dream....Hope that on the situation now is not true...all this is dream...I am dreaming only... I am dreaming having a nightmare only...
It is a dream rite?? tell me!!...tell me now!!! Tell me this was just dream!!!
Pain and hurt!!...day by day...I could only imagine that u still couple with me... it just u busy... cannot sms and call me only........only like this my heart could release good a bit...
This morning sudly want to msg u "I wake up adi dear"....but only realise u are not with me anymore...tears fall down...=`(
All this happen again...I couldn't just like be normal back...tears fall in heart...but only could do is to imagine u still with me...
Mum ask what happen?...I say nothing....She ask again am I break again?...I say no...dun bother me...
As...I couldn't imagine after I say it...I may cry hard in front of her...until couldn't control...
Last time having that big arguement...I was treat rude to my family...and mention that give us a time of 2 years to prove to them....but now with this happen...I doesn't know how to tok to them anymore...that day I was so sure to come out this to them...even ask them not to bother us as we already had a clear and sure mind towards work hard on that...but in the end....
What that i can do?...I only could imagine u still in my life....
Doesn't wish to say "goodbye"...really refuse on that....my heart won't let it go....
What a grey day....god...is this dream??...I hope it was...as after wake up...u are still be with me....
It is a dream rite?? tell me!!...tell me now!!! Tell me this was just dream!!!
Pain and hurt!!...day by day...I could only imagine that u still couple with me... it just u busy... cannot sms and call me only........only like this my heart could release good a bit...
This morning sudly want to msg u "I wake up adi dear"....but only realise u are not with me anymore...tears fall down...=`(
All this happen again...I couldn't just like be normal back...tears fall in heart...but only could do is to imagine u still with me...
Mum ask what happen?...I say nothing....She ask again am I break again?...I say no...dun bother me...
As...I couldn't imagine after I say it...I may cry hard in front of her...until couldn't control...
Last time having that big arguement...I was treat rude to my family...and mention that give us a time of 2 years to prove to them....but now with this happen...I doesn't know how to tok to them anymore...that day I was so sure to come out this to them...even ask them not to bother us as we already had a clear and sure mind towards work hard on that...but in the end....
What that i can do?...I only could imagine u still in my life....
Doesn't wish to say "goodbye"...really refuse on that....my heart won't let it go....
What a grey day....god...is this dream??...I hope it was...as after wake up...u are still be with me....
Monday, September 27, 2010
Enless Relation - 27/09/10
Is that the end of our life...the luv that we been create day by day...now in the end...only content of memories...I luv the way u look at me...luv the way u touch...luv the way u hold my hand...a big hand that cover whole of my hand...luv the sweet msg that u sent to me...luv the way u kiss...hug....luv the way u rubber on me...
but all this...could only be happen in dream...
imagine only i could do...
but after wake up, back to the lonely life..........really hope to stay in the dream forever....as...at least I'm still with u....
but all this...could only be happen in dream...
imagine only i could do...
but after wake up, back to the lonely life..........really hope to stay in the dream forever....as...at least I'm still with u....
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Another argue day - 26/09/2010
He scold me "Stupid btl"....scold me doesn't know noe how to read msg...
After yesterday happen, I was trying to be good back to him...but he scold me with this...am i really not deserve to be treated good??...after mention that I hope he could be loving like last time...hopefully he could msg me like last time...
but...but he was telling me not to be like small gal...I was exited of yesterday dating...everyday masking...hope that meet with him could be more ceria and pretty...but...cos of yesterday he accident...we didn't date...
Worrying bout him....although he had cancel the date but 4 me I didn't angry...as I noe was not his false...but...I really really wish to date with him...
Received his call with asking those stupid questions....really make me sad but still need to pretend nothing...although tears fall down adi, voice begin to turn, but still need pretend nothing...
keep hurting....everyday cry...cos of him...but need to pretend nothing....
Yes, I am having this relationship...but...y I think he is too far away...
Totally not like my bf...now even my fren is more close with me than him!!
Is it is time for me to pull out from hand? Honey and bee are suppose to be together...but Bee's heart is not there adi...honey turns to be not sweet anymore...
Wat a gray day!!!
After yesterday happen, I was trying to be good back to him...but he scold me with this...am i really not deserve to be treated good??...after mention that I hope he could be loving like last time...hopefully he could msg me like last time...
but...but he was telling me not to be like small gal...I was exited of yesterday dating...everyday masking...hope that meet with him could be more ceria and pretty...but...cos of yesterday he accident...we didn't date...
Worrying bout him....although he had cancel the date but 4 me I didn't angry...as I noe was not his false...but...I really really wish to date with him...
Received his call with asking those stupid questions....really make me sad but still need to pretend nothing...although tears fall down adi, voice begin to turn, but still need pretend nothing...
keep hurting....everyday cry...cos of him...but need to pretend nothing....
Yes, I am having this relationship...but...y I think he is too far away...
Totally not like my bf...now even my fren is more close with me than him!!
Is it is time for me to pull out from hand? Honey and bee are suppose to be together...but Bee's heart is not there adi...honey turns to be not sweet anymore...
Wat a gray day!!!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Relationship not as previous - 18/09/2010
Although been couple back...relationship not as close as previous...why its hard that we decide and want to be 2gather, but...you couldn't hargai the relationship that we wish to fight for...I noe that in your heart, there must be something...something u wasn't want to share with me...
Although u never tell from you mouth...but as your gf...I could feel it...that time u wish to break again with me is it? now a day u hot temper, scold me up...I tolerate...as I luv u...dun 1 to argue with u...wanna change myself...it's adi 6.50pm...u haven't reply...still angry...
in your heart...there must be something...u doesn't wanna tell me...i noe...i noe it was relate to me...u feel stress is it?...In fact u couldn't decide to be with me, if in 2 years your family not approve...as...that was your family...and...u also doesn't noe how to tok with me...as u been promise to be with me...but u really couldn't ignore your family...u r in the middle rite??
Thats y u message to me...mention that anyhow u luv me mre that I luv u...cos u promise will sacrify to be with your family...
If luving me is so hard for you...now even couple back but u r not putting the luv inside....I rather stay in Taiwan forever....doesn't wish to come back...at least that tme u r still luving me....not like now making both of us argue...not happy...
Although now u r with me...but your heart r not with me...I sad...happy...cry...smile....it doesn't meaning for you...not like last time u with me...I sad or angry...u will pujuk me...
U had change...change to a person that I'm not dare to put angry with...as I will scare u mention again to break me up...
change to a person being ignore everythg...although I hurt...I sad...I doesn't want a bf like that...
This Kumar is scarry...I was putting my effort on everythg that u want me to change...as I noe..the sacrifaction that u put..is more than me....
But u r not given me any chance to change...I need to tolerate with u until although i cry...but...I stand nothing and pretend nothing and make u happy...
I apologise...waiting for u to msg me... call me....why always mention "tata"... I just want to listen a word from u which is from your full heart...which is "I Luv U" from your full heart...
If u really feel that being with me...make u stress up...very irritating...then, I would rather u leave me now...as u leaving me now...at least u r loving me rite now...
As I'm affraid when u keep force to be with me....in some other day...u may no more loving me...although I had try my hard to change as wat u want...but....no use....as u adi dun luv me at all....
The first day we met after we couple back...I really feel like my old Kumar are coming back...really feel tenteram that day....but after that....no more....
we just been couple back almost 2 weeks...but in just a second....we had come to a real situation again that we facing....be with u on the 1st day that we couple back...I really feel like we just be like that time....forever...u care me...I understand u...I share whatever to you...
but...till to the next day...everythg change back to this situation....
The feeling and situation that I hate most...
Is it after a started of tenteram, there will be difficult time for us to face?....so fast?...
u x given us a chance...thn how we could fight for future...
Is it after a borrow of tenteram...need to return back and replace back more difficult time to suffer?...
U hurt me....I allow....But when I use back the words to you...u angry?...u mjuk?...u doesn't wanna even msg me??....
That was the word that u use to me....my hurt feeling is like now u hurting...but i need to pretend nothing....and make u happy again...as I doesn't want arguement...
I want we tke care of this relationship....but y u keep hurting me....until I melutup...and tell all this to u?....and now mjuk with me??...
I want to keep this relationship....is that wrong?...is that I need to merayu to get this?...I am also a human that had mother to born....had feeling...
Please dun keep hurts me again....as I'm weak not as strong as u think....
Although u never tell from you mouth...but as your gf...I could feel it...that time u wish to break again with me is it? now a day u hot temper, scold me up...I tolerate...as I luv u...dun 1 to argue with u...wanna change myself...it's adi 6.50pm...u haven't reply...still angry...
in your heart...there must be something...u doesn't wanna tell me...i noe...i noe it was relate to me...u feel stress is it?...In fact u couldn't decide to be with me, if in 2 years your family not approve...as...that was your family...and...u also doesn't noe how to tok with me...as u been promise to be with me...but u really couldn't ignore your family...u r in the middle rite??
Thats y u message to me...mention that anyhow u luv me mre that I luv u...cos u promise will sacrify to be with your family...
If luving me is so hard for you...now even couple back but u r not putting the luv inside....I rather stay in Taiwan forever....doesn't wish to come back...at least that tme u r still luving me....not like now making both of us argue...not happy...
Although now u r with me...but your heart r not with me...I sad...happy...cry...smile....it doesn't meaning for you...not like last time u with me...I sad or angry...u will pujuk me...
U had change...change to a person that I'm not dare to put angry with...as I will scare u mention again to break me up...
change to a person being ignore everythg...although I hurt...I sad...I doesn't want a bf like that...
This Kumar is scarry...I was putting my effort on everythg that u want me to change...as I noe..the sacrifaction that u put..is more than me....
But u r not given me any chance to change...I need to tolerate with u until although i cry...but...I stand nothing and pretend nothing and make u happy...
I apologise...waiting for u to msg me... call me....why always mention "tata"... I just want to listen a word from u which is from your full heart...which is "I Luv U" from your full heart...
If u really feel that being with me...make u stress up...very irritating...then, I would rather u leave me now...as u leaving me now...at least u r loving me rite now...
As I'm affraid when u keep force to be with me....in some other day...u may no more loving me...although I had try my hard to change as wat u want...but....no use....as u adi dun luv me at all....
The first day we met after we couple back...I really feel like my old Kumar are coming back...really feel tenteram that day....but after that....no more....
we just been couple back almost 2 weeks...but in just a second....we had come to a real situation again that we facing....be with u on the 1st day that we couple back...I really feel like we just be like that time....forever...u care me...I understand u...I share whatever to you...
but...till to the next day...everythg change back to this situation....
The feeling and situation that I hate most...
Is it after a started of tenteram, there will be difficult time for us to face?....so fast?...
u x given us a chance...thn how we could fight for future...
Is it after a borrow of tenteram...need to return back and replace back more difficult time to suffer?...
U hurt me....I allow....But when I use back the words to you...u angry?...u mjuk?...u doesn't wanna even msg me??....
That was the word that u use to me....my hurt feeling is like now u hurting...but i need to pretend nothing....and make u happy again...as I doesn't want arguement...
I want we tke care of this relationship....but y u keep hurting me....until I melutup...and tell all this to u?....and now mjuk with me??...
I want to keep this relationship....is that wrong?...is that I need to merayu to get this?...I am also a human that had mother to born....had feeling...
Please dun keep hurts me again....as I'm weak not as strong as u think....
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Couple back - day 1 on 08/09/2010
Not sure of our future what will going to be....but...we will stand on our position for it!!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
A day that without him-Day 15 08/09/2010
A lonely day....I took MC today...I purposely sent wrongly to him...but..the reply I get from him is...."Why you send to me?"...he no more care me anymore...no more...
I had no mood to start work...no mood to do anything...simply take MC to be mad gal today...very pain....I know that for you...parent only one, without them...couldn't get anymore...thats y u protect them from not even let them know anything....Chloe Liew Ting Ling also 1 only...but for u...mayb u think to change...as wat u want is a "pure true luv"...
"Pure" meaning to say is it "pure indian"....Chloe Liew Ting Ling could not make it rite?...although she now wanna get to learn Tamil, wear panjabi, not to eat beef...learn indian culture...but...wat u and your family want is a "pure indian" that could only be your gf or your wife rite?
x kan what I do now all this is not true luv to you?? is it a fake luv for you??....
Nvm la...u had decide...what I could do??...stay mad only I could do....
Hope that when that time we had pass away, and if there is a chance to be human again...u promise to me u will choose to be chinese....then on this entire life...we couldn't be together...but on our next generation...we could in luv again...and we could be together...forever on our next generation...
another one thing I wish to tell you...u ask me to be like Madhu that have a kind heart....actually, I am doing good thing also for the past more than 1/2 year...I had adopt a child...is a gal...her name is Maimaititureyimu, Ayinuer....9 years old....in Xinjiang China....every month I sent some money to her family...enough for every month to them....u didn't know bout that as I feel like doing good things not necessary to let all people know...thats y even u also...I didn't tell u...only my mum know...as monthly I need her to help me to bank in the money monthly to them...except my mum...no 1 know....now I tell u...is because...I wanna let u know that...I am a gal also that what u looking for....doesn't wanna tell u when that time we are argue is because...although I have done all this but I'm not necessary to tell everyone...or let everyone to know....now I let u know...is because...although this children is adopt...but...I had assume that...she is our children....
Goodbye my luv....I couldn't assume that u had die...as if u die...I'll follow your step to die together...I couldn't assume that I was having a bad dream...As I doesn't wish to forget u in my life....I couldn't let myself to ignore u...as i couldn't do that also....
If u had choose what u had think is correct and feel better...then...go ahead lerr...I am no one for you to stop u...
Good luck...dun forget to wear the braclet that I give u...as it's bring u luck....dun forget when u miss me...listen on the shell....as there is sea wave that keep telling u "I luv u, I miss u"....dun missing again the thing that I present to you...as...I dunno I could still give u present to you or not on my entire life....dun delete the msg that i sent to you...as...there will no chance for me to msg u anymore....dun delete the pic that we had took together...as...I wouldn't noe we could had chance to took pic together or not...dun delete the memories that we had create...as on the rest of the entire life...there will be no memories that we could create anymore...
But...all this...if u decide to forget me in your life...I couldn't stop u also...just do whatever u like lerr...as...I want u to be happy....If u think u delete all...it's bring u happy....then I couldn't stop u...
Lastly....gudbye my luv...although couldn't stand the pain of u leaving me...but it is a fact adi...goodbye and luv u forever...miss u forever...
I couldn't say bye to you yesterday...as I really doesn't wish to bye...
But anyhow...u had decide...
I HAVE to say goodbye.....
I had no mood to start work...no mood to do anything...simply take MC to be mad gal today...very pain....I know that for you...parent only one, without them...couldn't get anymore...thats y u protect them from not even let them know anything....Chloe Liew Ting Ling also 1 only...but for u...mayb u think to change...as wat u want is a "pure true luv"...
"Pure" meaning to say is it "pure indian"....Chloe Liew Ting Ling could not make it rite?...although she now wanna get to learn Tamil, wear panjabi, not to eat beef...learn indian culture...but...wat u and your family want is a "pure indian" that could only be your gf or your wife rite?
x kan what I do now all this is not true luv to you?? is it a fake luv for you??....
Nvm la...u had decide...what I could do??...stay mad only I could do....
Hope that when that time we had pass away, and if there is a chance to be human again...u promise to me u will choose to be chinese....then on this entire life...we couldn't be together...but on our next generation...we could in luv again...and we could be together...forever on our next generation...
another one thing I wish to tell you...u ask me to be like Madhu that have a kind heart....actually, I am doing good thing also for the past more than 1/2 year...I had adopt a child...is a gal...her name is Maimaititureyimu, Ayinuer....9 years old....in Xinjiang China....every month I sent some money to her family...enough for every month to them....u didn't know bout that as I feel like doing good things not necessary to let all people know...thats y even u also...I didn't tell u...only my mum know...as monthly I need her to help me to bank in the money monthly to them...except my mum...no 1 know....now I tell u...is because...I wanna let u know that...I am a gal also that what u looking for....doesn't wanna tell u when that time we are argue is because...although I have done all this but I'm not necessary to tell everyone...or let everyone to know....now I let u know...is because...although this children is adopt...but...I had assume that...she is our children....
Goodbye my luv....I couldn't assume that u had die...as if u die...I'll follow your step to die together...I couldn't assume that I was having a bad dream...As I doesn't wish to forget u in my life....I couldn't let myself to ignore u...as i couldn't do that also....
If u had choose what u had think is correct and feel better...then...go ahead lerr...I am no one for you to stop u...
Good luck...dun forget to wear the braclet that I give u...as it's bring u luck....dun forget when u miss me...listen on the shell....as there is sea wave that keep telling u "I luv u, I miss u"....dun missing again the thing that I present to you...as...I dunno I could still give u present to you or not on my entire life....dun delete the msg that i sent to you...as...there will no chance for me to msg u anymore....dun delete the pic that we had took together...as...I wouldn't noe we could had chance to took pic together or not...dun delete the memories that we had create...as on the rest of the entire life...there will be no memories that we could create anymore...
But...all this...if u decide to forget me in your life...I couldn't stop u also...just do whatever u like lerr...as...I want u to be happy....If u think u delete all...it's bring u happy....then I couldn't stop u...
Lastly....gudbye my luv...although couldn't stand the pain of u leaving me...but it is a fact adi...goodbye and luv u forever...miss u forever...
I couldn't say bye to you yesterday...as I really doesn't wish to bye...
But anyhow...u had decide...
I HAVE to say goodbye.....
A day that without him-Day 14 07/09/2010
A last day that i could saw him....during my trip...he mention will give me good news after I come back...but...at the end....the answer is still same....I had ask him to think properly...deeply...after I come back let me know the answer...
During my trip...he agreed to be with me...but when I come back...he leave me again...3rd times...my heart feel like it's not mind....hurt until couldn't control...feel like wanna kill myself...couldn't stand for it anymore..I rather not come back from Taiwan...at least u will still msg to me...at least I'm still your gf....at least I am still...at least.....
Why he couldn't work with me together to try?!...not even try...why never try our best to get the bless from them?! I could merayu...merayu in front of his house until your father could let us to be together...I could learn Tamil, I cook Indian Food, I never eat beef on my entire life, I'll learn Indian culture...I believe with my hardwork, things could become miracle...I could merayu in front of his house no matters raining, sunny day, tunder come...until your father could let us to be together....but all my planning of hardwork...been stop not by your parents...is by you...why??...why u even not to try...I believe with our hardwork...we could make miracle...or is it u affraid of your parent even get to know??...not even wanna let them know because it will hurts them is it?...
No use adi...no use adi if I wanna do my part but u disagree...anyhow...I mention that I agree your decision after u my trip...I HAVE to agree...although we have hope to make things become miracle...but when u not agree...I HAVE to accept...I feel like...your luv on me is not as that deep as Myself to you...as I willing to spend a year to try...although it is win or lose...I accept the fact...but why not u?..
I couldn't accept the fact of u leaving me...as u promise to me u will be with me forever...u mention we are different...as your sibling is know about us and they accept and they could help us to convience your parent...but now....u said it couldn't....If I die also...It is nothing for you is it??...
today is the last day that I could meet you in my life...I was promise on u I won't cry but...I'm not that strong as u think!!...I couldn't stand the pain of u leaving me...the hug that u give me...the kiss that u lastly given to me...when I meet u that time...I had a lot of things to say...but...I stop myself...as...u had decided...u decided not given a try....why??...u affraid of hurting your family but u not affraid of hurting me??...I am nothing for u??
When u mention u send me back to my car...we walk along...I walk very slow...very2 slow...u ask me why? I said nothing.....In fact, I wanna tell u...I hope that the road never end...so then u could hold my hand and keep walk and walk...and walk...until we get old and entire of our life...
But...why the road is very short!!...very short like clip my eyes once and it's arrive...I wish to hold your hand until our entire of our life...u mention relaxly...ask me to forget u...get a guy to married and get 2 children....
It's hard to forget u....u had utilize full of my heart....and now u leave me...let me suffer for the pain...if u are to giv me happiness...u noe that u shouldn't leave me....u said u treat me like a princess if I be with u...and now when I be with you...u treat me like a mad gal...a mad gal that always cry...no mood to do anything...no happiness in my life....
I dunno how to take care...as I dunno how to take care without u....sometime will feel like wanna hurt myself...when hurt myself...mayb u will come and see me...sometime feel like wanna crash in an accident....so that when I get into hospital...mayb u will come and see me...seriously...nows a day I feel like I'm not concerntrate when driving...emergency brake...when saw a motorist will keep looking...thought that was u...imagine that was u too...
arr...what i should do?? kill myself better than stay in this current situation........
During my trip...he agreed to be with me...but when I come back...he leave me again...3rd times...my heart feel like it's not mind....hurt until couldn't control...feel like wanna kill myself...couldn't stand for it anymore..I rather not come back from Taiwan...at least u will still msg to me...at least I'm still your gf....at least I am still...at least.....
Why he couldn't work with me together to try?!...not even try...why never try our best to get the bless from them?! I could merayu...merayu in front of his house until your father could let us to be together...I could learn Tamil, I cook Indian Food, I never eat beef on my entire life, I'll learn Indian culture...I believe with my hardwork, things could become miracle...I could merayu in front of his house no matters raining, sunny day, tunder come...until your father could let us to be together....but all my planning of hardwork...been stop not by your parents...is by you...why??...why u even not to try...I believe with our hardwork...we could make miracle...or is it u affraid of your parent even get to know??...not even wanna let them know because it will hurts them is it?...
No use adi...no use adi if I wanna do my part but u disagree...anyhow...I mention that I agree your decision after u my trip...I HAVE to agree...although we have hope to make things become miracle...but when u not agree...I HAVE to accept...I feel like...your luv on me is not as that deep as Myself to you...as I willing to spend a year to try...although it is win or lose...I accept the fact...but why not u?..
I couldn't accept the fact of u leaving me...as u promise to me u will be with me forever...u mention we are different...as your sibling is know about us and they accept and they could help us to convience your parent...but now....u said it couldn't....If I die also...It is nothing for you is it??...
today is the last day that I could meet you in my life...I was promise on u I won't cry but...I'm not that strong as u think!!...I couldn't stand the pain of u leaving me...the hug that u give me...the kiss that u lastly given to me...when I meet u that time...I had a lot of things to say...but...I stop myself...as...u had decided...u decided not given a try....why??...u affraid of hurting your family but u not affraid of hurting me??...I am nothing for u??
When u mention u send me back to my car...we walk along...I walk very slow...very2 slow...u ask me why? I said nothing.....In fact, I wanna tell u...I hope that the road never end...so then u could hold my hand and keep walk and walk...and walk...until we get old and entire of our life...
But...why the road is very short!!...very short like clip my eyes once and it's arrive...I wish to hold your hand until our entire of our life...u mention relaxly...ask me to forget u...get a guy to married and get 2 children....
It's hard to forget u....u had utilize full of my heart....and now u leave me...let me suffer for the pain...if u are to giv me happiness...u noe that u shouldn't leave me....u said u treat me like a princess if I be with u...and now when I be with you...u treat me like a mad gal...a mad gal that always cry...no mood to do anything...no happiness in my life....
I dunno how to take care...as I dunno how to take care without u....sometime will feel like wanna hurt myself...when hurt myself...mayb u will come and see me...sometime feel like wanna crash in an accident....so that when I get into hospital...mayb u will come and see me...seriously...nows a day I feel like I'm not concerntrate when driving...emergency brake...when saw a motorist will keep looking...thought that was u...imagine that was u too...
arr...what i should do?? kill myself better than stay in this current situation........
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